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Woman Awakens

Calm. Self Worth. Self Care. Wisdom. Authenticity. Gratitude. Embodiment.

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a note on comparison, jealousy & judgement

For the week of ‘self-worth’, I want you to explore your thoughts and feelings around comparison, jealousy and judgement. You might like to journal or express how you feel about these topics once you have read this.

When we have a strong sense of self-worth and we have come to the place within where we like, love and truly accept ourselves, then we naturally have less judgement, we stop comparing ourselves to others and we feel less jealousy all round. This solid base helps us to not only show up in the world from a place of confidence, but it allows us to connect with others from a more authentic place. When the fog of judgement, comparison and jealousy starts to clear, we can then see the world with clarity and see our place and value within it.

I think you would agree that the odds are stacked against us as modern women living in the age of social media! It’s hard to not be affected by a platform that is built upon people showing the world their ‘highlight reels’ (the version of themselves that they want the world to believe is real). We can all fall into the trap of comparing these highlight reels, these amazing moments and these false ideas with our everyday (and perhaps less glamorous) reality.

Have you found yourself at some point scrolling, comparing and perhaps deciding in that moment that everyone else has it all together? How often have you had that feeling like you are the only one feeling lonely, unloved, insecure and unworthy based on what you see?

The old saying, ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ truly applies. When we compare ourselves and measure ourselves up against others, we can easily forget the fact that we are all different and that’s the way it’s meant to be. We forget that we don’t see these people in their darkest hour and that we don’t truly know what’s going on in their inner world, in their actual reality. It’s simply a judgement that is often based on an illusion.

I’d like you to consider that the feelings that arise when you decide that other people have what you don’t is in fact an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to love and accept yourself more than you have before. It’s an opportunity to connect with yourself and love the part of you that is crying out and yearning for your own validation. Once you can recognise this, then you can take a moment to give yourself the love that you desperately need rather than criticise or judge yourself negatively.  

The same goes with jealousy, it’s a judgement. Remember that whatever you see in someone else also lives within you. Are you seeing something in someone else that perhaps you’re ready to awaken within you? Jealousy can also be an opportunity to look within and become more of who you are meant to be. It’s an opportunity to acknowledge something about yourself and perhaps start embodying more of your true nature and potential.

When you ask yourself the big question of ‘why’ you are feeling the way you are about someone else then it reveals something about you. It’s always an opportunity to learn and grow. By exploring the ‘why’ behind the feeling, you can move through it and use it to connect. In those moments when you are perhaps jealous of a material thing or a social status that someone else might have, ask yourself if it is coming from wanting a certain kind of approval or validation from others? Identify whether it’s coming from a place of truth or insecurity.

I see jealousy as a little alarm that goes off to tell you one of two things. It’s either an opportunity to realise a part within your being that needs the love and validation that only YOU can give, or it’s your inner wisdom letting you know that you too possess what you see in another. If it’s the latter, then perhaps it’s time to awaken, embody and step into your power. Rather than feeling trapped by the emotion and allowing it to eat away at you, you can use it to learn more about yourself and ultimately evolve.

At the end of the day, when we drop the judgement towards ourselves, we drop it towards others. This way of thinking can also help us through times and situations when we feel hurt by the judgement or criticism of others. This wisdom can help us to see that other people’s judgement towards us are in fact just a reflection of how they feel about themselves. When we stop taking other people’s judgement personally, we can truly feel secure and empowered just as we are.

This week is about you creating new habits and catching yourself out if you are being pulled into one of your old habits or cycles in terms of self-worth and acceptance. In a nutshell, the feelings of jealousy, judgement and comparison should lead you to ask yourself; ‘What am I not loving or accepting about myself?’ or ‘What is this revealing to me?’. When you ask these questions and answer them with truth, vulnerability and authenticity, then you have all you need to move through the emotion, embrace the lesson and ultimately evolve.

The power is and always has been within you. And you, magnificent woman, can love yourself through absolutely anything.

With so much love,

Tara.